Enter Depression, Stage Left - Dealing with conditions, or mood swings?

Must... not... eat... my... feelings...!

Camelia and a hundred year old horse tie-off near my home.

Have you ever had one of those days? One of those days where it feels like someone put a mute on everything. The color dulls, the sounds are less brilliant and all you feel is sad.

Well my friends, that was today. 

I feel, personally, that conditions like depression are over diagnosed in our day and age. So I am not saying that I have depression but that is what I felt today, all day. I am sure you will say "isn't that an overly fine distinction?", and I would answer a resounding "NO!". In fact I feel that the distinction between the two makes the world. You are allowed to be depressed without having depression.

You may feel the grips of a depressing mood overtake you once in awhile but that doesn't mean you need mood stabilizers or antidepressants. What that means is you feel down once in awhile and you need to learn how to pull yourself up or how to batten down the hatches. Whatever works for you. 

I deal with mood swings, a lot, so I have learned a trick or two that I can share and maybe they can help you.

Method One: Acknowledge, Identify, Manage. This works well for me when I am feeling sudden rage since anger has physical symptoms that are easy to identify like increased heart rate (like an adrenaline pump) and a warm sensation. Using this to combat sudden sadness has a finesse that has, as of yet, eluded me. 

1. Acknowledge what it is that you are feeling. Have you ever been absolutely irate suddenly and not noticed what triggered it? Slow down for a minute and say, out loud if you need to "I am really angry right now..." For me, acknowledging the emotion makes it into something I can deal with in the moment. 
2. Identify the source of your irritant. Ask yourself, and try to be objective, "is there a good reason that I am feeling this emotion?" If you answer is No, then you need to assess the situation and move onto step three. If you have legitimate cause to be angry ask yourself if your response is proportionate to the problem at hand. You may still need to scale back a bit. 
3. Manage your self and how you interact with others. You may want to try some calming exercise or remove yourself until you can cope. Politely excuse yourself and take a mental inventory of the situation and then once you have regained control go back to business. Make apologies as needed.

Remember that, again, other people may not be aware of the situation brewing inside you and that ultimately they are innocent bystanders. Most people in my family are diagnosed bipolar so I learned from watching my Dad go from jovial and happy to rampaging and throwing drawers out and onto the floor and screaming at his children with no apparent gradation between. I have been talking to people and then suddenly start shouting because everything just pissed me off only to realize I was the one at fault and I had actually scared people I cared about.

Method Two: Escape Clause. Sadness on the other hand is a tricky adversary. It sneaks up like a crafty gauze sheet (known to be the craftiest of the fabrics) and cast a pallor over your day without you realizing it. Usually for me I figure it out somewhere between the sudden bursts of tears and eating half a jar of peanut butter during the 176th replay of Under the Tuscan Sun. This starts the same way as method one but for me it takes a helping hand also.

1. Acknowledge what it is that you are feeling. As always the first step in dealing with your problems is being aware of them. Stating the obvious may seem... obvious, but do it anyways. It is a real kick in the pants to hear out of your sobbing, chocolate bar smeared face come the words "I am sad and I don't know why." 
2. Do something, right now! I don't care what it is, anything. Grab your coat and go walking. Jump in the car and go somewhere. Pick up the phone and call a loved one. Just anything before you slip back under the covers or start chugging chocolate syrup you need to break the spell. 
3. Pick something that makes you smile, or better yet do something that makes someone else smile. I call my spouse and whine out a uber pathetic "I'm so sad and I don't know why..." and he comes to my rescue. I take the dogs for a walk. Go to the grocery store and get your loved ones favorite food for dinner. I write in this blog. Doing something productive that isn't for me makes me feel good. Cleaning house makes me feel good too since it make my spouse deliriously happy (except there is nothing left to do). The long and short of it is that activity will break the spell. At least is does for me. 

Sometimes I just don't have the energy and I call my hubby and sob until he gets what's going on and he helps me out. He takes me to dinner or just generally spoils me with love and if that doesn't work he throws up his hands and says "I don't know what to do, I tried my best. I'm going to go watch tv." If you are someone who suffers from this once in awhile then set up resources for yourself when you aren't sad and prepare. Make a "weepy day kit" or have that one great friend who is up for anything on speed dial. If you experience this frequently or daily then muffin, you need a therapist and probably a doctor too. Remember that taking medicine can alleviate the symptom of a problem but therapy will give you tools to cope for a lifetime. I just wish I could afford it.